"Birds" Eye View of The Big Brother

By Debi, Sue, & Sue

Sorry Az, once we got to the Dive Guide, we lost all sense of realism and with what happened next. If only!!!!

Ah well, I suppose we had better get on and write some more.

We arrived at the port, and did our girlie buddy check, makeup, makeup remover, razor, false nails and hairdryer on the quayside. Once we had all agreed on the important bits, we boarded the gin palace. First things first, mad dash to grab the best rooms in the house. Magoo was on top, Mrs Biff and Alice bunked up below together. The cabins were marvellous, what more could we want, fridge for the aftersun and makeup, and lovely tight fitting bath robes, beautifully modelled by Adrian, who looked sleek and slender as he twirled around at the top of the wooden stairway, complementing the interior of the vessel.

As we were given a detailed briefing of the boat by Mohammed, about the engine size, horsepower, etc yawn yawn, then "Stage Right " there appeared a vision of male beauty unknown to Bromley BSAC standing in the doorway. All of a sudden a three holed putting green appeared on the lounge floor, made by the dropping of the girlies draws (opps sorry JAWS!!!No if only it had been the draws!!!). GUMAL had arrived, and was here for the week.

EG:
Your average Bromley BSAC Male -

Versus
GUMAL

Needles to say throughout the week, we stuck to every bubble, and fin stroke.

We have never seen Alice having to clear her mask so many times due to a strange and rare disorder called "ASS" - Acute Steaming Syndrome. The briefings were all too brief, for the girls anyway.

And now the diving, this was what we were here for.

We quickly adjusted to the daily routine, roll out of bed, dive, breakfast, sunbathe, dive, lunch, sunbathe, dive, dinner, silly stories and party games.
The reefs were full of all "creatures great and small"; the colours were spectacular, with an abundance of marine life.

We had many memorable dives, one in particular stands out in our minds. Sue & Sue thought they were just visiting the wreck off Big Brother, little did they know that by the time they had surfaced, and after waiting around in choppy seas for about half an hour hoping to be rescued, trying to attract the Egyptian army with whistles and blobs. They had drifted half way towards Saudi Arabia, when eventually their knight in shining rubber appeared battling against the 20 foot waves to rescue these two damsels in distress, who by this time resembled two shrivelled prunes. He was glad to see us, but not as glad as we were to see him. Sorry Dave Lee, this does include you as well. Otherwise Gumal would have had some explaining to do back on board when he informed Jason and Mike that Sue & Sue had decided to take a detour to Saudi. Its exciting stuff this diving lark!!!

At the boat park around Big Brother MY Miss Veena was the party boat queen. All games were non-alcoholic, involving plenty of physical contact with either cucumbers or melting tubes of Toblerone. Then Gerry suggested playing "Harry", could we get to grips with this game, we don't think so. The theory was simple; putting it into practise was a different matter.

We all sat around in a large circle, the ensuing conversation followed:

Diver One:       'Hello Harry'

Diver Two:       'Yes, Harry'

Diver One:       'Harry, tell Harry'

Diver Two, sharp left turn of the head to Diver Three saying

Diver Two:       ''Hello Harry'

Diver Three:    'Yes, Harry'

Diver Two:       'Harry, tell Harry'                    and so on………….

But the catch, if you got a word wrong, Gerry took great pleasure in stamping a large black hole on your head. Thus renaming you "One Spot", or "Two Spot" depending on how many times you could not remember the phrase.
Adrian's new name is "TEN SPOT"!!!!!!!!!1 (Or Acne!!!!!)

After we'd settled in we went ashore to the nearest bar and almost immediately. Mike Rountree and Ray Russell ( the Chemical Brothers ) ordered a hubbly bubbly pipe, then huffed and puffed and blew their minds away. No not really ,they smoked some sweet flavoured local concoction.

After a hard week's diving, and frying in the sun, we met up with the Bromley Diver Two, for a night to remember. And what a night!!!!!!

We were heading for PAPA's bar in downtown Hurghada, for a beer and a boogie. Everyone was out to enjoy themselves, old school and new school alike. We were all strutting our stuff on the dance floor, and just when we thought it could not get any better, in walks Gumal, old Snake Hips himself, once again Alice's ASS syndrome reoccurred as he shimmed and salsa'd between us. Eat your heart out Ricky Martin, and Tom Jones, there was only one place the knickers were being thrown tonight!!!!!

The following day was spent shopping, sunbathing and swimming, and then it was time to: -

Sue, Debbie & Sue

Top of Page

Red Sea 2000, Gallery, Diving the Salam Express,
Thirtysomething, "Birds" Eye View of Big Brother

Red Sea 2004 - North, Maldives,

The Scilly Isles - 2003, Red Sea 2003 - North, Red Sea 2003 - South
Scapa Flow 2002, Red Sea 2002, Weymouth 2002,
Australia, Red Sea 2001, Red Sea 2000,     
Brixham, Weymouth, Key Largo,
Red Sea 1999, Diving Down Under.