Once upon a time on a Sunday , a large boat was anchored in Torbay for a few hours to take on some crew . I've never seen such a designed disaster just waiting to happen ! Avarice and greed designed this ship , not good marine design . I hope they have backup system's for their stabiliser's !! On our way to the dive site we had a mooch around the ship and I took bearing's of where I thought the anchor was for a future dive . Two or three hundred ton's of plough , digging big furrow's as it's pulled up , what would these deep furrow's reveal ? The Thatchers Rock was the dive site , Flap's and I went in , I allowed him to take charge of the dive , and we looked but didn't take any of the crab's even the big one's , at least that's the impression that he gave me , but he wouldn't let me near his goody bag ( I thought it was full of scallop's , but they were very active , for scallop's ! ) After the dive going back to Brixham , we started to have trouble with the engine , back in the marina it was time to make like mechanics , the blind leading the blind ( so I threatened to wrench it with my big stilson's , and hit it with my club hammer and big one and a half metre long cold steel chisel , and it started to work properly , honest ! Would I lie to you ! ) But the afternoon dive was blown out . That evening it was a boozy night for the other's , but I had other plans . The Carnival tenement block had left that afternoon , and I thought that the disturbed water would have settled or been carried away on the currant , therefor it should be clear tonight .

So off I go to the marina when no one was looking , put my kit into the rib , and sneak out of Brixham to the position of the Large boat's anchor . It only takes a few minute's to find the deep furrow's of the fluke's , and I drop anchor . It's a cool clear night but Im sweating , nerves , a guilty conscience , B S A C 's training to dive in pair's " ho hum " I'll just have a look , thats all ; honest ! ( The start of the incident pit !! ) It's going wrong , my weight's are in the other rib!! ( I transferred them when the rib broke down and I didn't put them back , good init ! ) There was another weight belt in the boat but it was too light , so I cut small length's of thin twine and tied my tool's too the belt ( my stilson's , club hammer and my long steel chisel ) .

I'm the klinky klanky man , with all my kit on . I roll of the side and swim to the anchor rope. I swim down it for two metre's then switch one of my torches on and continue down ( To have a look only !! Honest !! ) The fluke's of the anchor had torn away the seabed to reveal part of a crevice and part of the superstructure of a ship jammed in it ! The vis by lamp light was for to five mtr's , I only saw one side of the crevice and part of it's contents the ship's superstructure and only part of that a cabin . The ship was resting at approximately forty five degrees , with a broken mast and steel cable's draped over the cabin . They had been torn and moved about by the fluke's , as had the door , which had been torn open , and was now holding up the mast crosstrees ! At a ninety deg angle to the cabin , and forty five deg angle facing the surface . On my way to the doorway ( To have a look only !! Honest!! ) I was intrigued to see that the porthole deadlight , was welded shut to the rim of the porthole all the way around . I know that they were worried about showing a light during the war , but this I thought this was going a bit to far , and it obviously hadn't worked !

Reaching the door , I grab the door post , and pull myself in , with a gentle push on the door with my feet to help , I glide into the cabin with style and panache , like the movie camera's are following the handsome male lead ( poser) . As I glance down , I see brass ingot's and small steel pallet's , all piled higaldy pigaldy all over the cabin floor , I glide over them , into the room . There's a sudden screech and thump !! I'm suddenly momentarily crushed and relieved of pressure and propelled forward's into the opposite wall . I get rid of the pain in my ear's , and get my courage up to look around ;

The bloody door's shut ; SHUT !!! SHIT ! SHIT ! SHIT ! SOD IT ! SOD IT ! SOD IT !! I knew without looking , but the confirmation was bad . The screech thump and pressure told me that the door had closed , but the relief of the pressure had given me the hope that the door had sprung open again , but it hadn't . I spin around and push of the cabin wall for the door , and hit it hard but it only opens six inches and stop's with a solid clunck ! I heave at the door with all my desperate might , but thats it a six inch gap only , that's all ! OH GOD OH GOD !! I start shaking and crying into my mask . It doesn't matter weather it's the crosstree or the mast holding the door shut , the crosstree weighs about three ton's the mast about thirty tons ! Im not going to move thirty three tons . IM DEAD!!!

The mask flood's because of my screwed up crying face , and I clear it . Looking at the silver surface while clearing my mask , it doesn't register ! What I saw ! As I look at the porthole , and all those nut's and bolt's holding the assembly together , thinking that there's no way I'll be able to get them off before my air ran out , let alone lever the porthole apart to make a bigger hole for me to get out ! I glance up at the silver surface again , and the penny drop's with a dull thud in my dull thick head ; AIR the air that Im breathing has got nowhere to go , so the roof 's trapping it . You can give E.A .R. because you only use a quarter of the twenty one per cent of oxygen in the air , that leaves three quarter's of reusable air ! I'm using a sixteen lt'r bottle , at this shallow depth that's almost an hour , with duck diving from the air pocket , three hour's . Think and plan and work to the plan , and I've a chance to get out , panic and Im dead ! O K three deep breath's , pause and think ;

Do I hammer the bolt's off , or twist them off , which is quicker ? Try both and see , first hammer and chisel . The hammer isn't heavy enough and I'm floating around all over the place so I can't get a good enough swing at the chisel . I need negative buoyancy big time . The brass ingot's that litter the cabin sole would fit the requirement's perfectly . I reach down and get two , my god they're heavy , very heavy , just one in each of my Buddy Commando's pocket's and I'm very very negatively buoyant . Even with a good swing the club hammer isn't heavy enough and I keep missing with it ! I loop the hammer back on my belt and pick up another brass ingot , and start belting the bejesus out of the bolt with the brass and chisel . Nothing much happened , it didn't brake .

I let the brass ingot drop and screamed , ( it landed on my foot ) and it's HEAVY !! What did Solomon say? GIVE ME A POINT TO STAND ON , AND A LEVER , AND I CAN MOVE THE WORLD .... I take the Stilson's from my belt and put it on the nut and lever it with increasing pressure and it brakes . Yes ! Yes! Yes !! On to the next one , I can't shift it ! OH GOD OH GOD .. Im panicking again .Think you twit , you've got a brain use it ! O K more leverage that's what I need quickly ... the chisel . I put the blade of the chisel over the lip of the porthole and the shaft under the end of the stilsons handle and lever it up (easily) and the bolt brakes off . The next and the next and on and on , Im not counting , just going around like an automation ; A race , bolt's verses air and life ...

The last bolt drop's to the cabin floor ; half way out , but Im frightened to look at my air . Now to get the inner rim off , stilsons back on my belt . I pick up another ingot and place the chisel to the rim at the cabin wall and belt it hard ; it moves a fraction , I've got to keep the rim level with the wall , so that the holes don't lock on to the bolt's at an angle , so I put the chisel to the opposite side and belt it again the rim moves out a fraction now it's a matter of going around the rim smashing the chisel in the ever increasing gap , but I now it's too slow ! So it's back to the Stilsons as a pivot point and smash the ingot sideways onto the chisel's end . The rim bend's as it come's away from the bolt's on one side , I repeat the process on the other side , and the rim comes off and fall's away !! Now I smash all the exposed bolt end's with the ingot , as hard as I can all the way around , then place the chisel in the gap between the outer rim and the cabin wall and belt it hard . I'm breathing too heavily , I know it , but what can I do ? Im still too frightened to look at my air gauge . The rim moves out , I move the chisel to the opposite side , and put it in levering it in as far as it will go , and notice that the loosened rim is moving without me hitting it ! So I drop the ingot and start levering the rim of evenly around the circumference of the port whole . It gets easier and quicker , not long , and it drop's away !!

I put the chisel back on my belt , there's no way Im leaving that anywhere ! And try to get out , but the jacket and bottle make me too fat ! Sorry big ; Only one way to get out , take my stab jacket off and put it through the porthole with me following it . I start to take it off , and find it hard to breath . Grabbing my console and looking at my air ; There wasn't any !! I swam to the cabin ceiling and throw my head back to get my mouth into the air and took a great lung full of air , as I sank I spit my reg out and put my Buddy Air Two reg in my mouth , and blow the air into the stab jacket emptying my lung's , swimming back up to the air pocket , again I take another great lung full of air , and empty my lung's of air into the stab jacket as I sink . I continue to do this until the auto dump start's to dump air . Im still negatively buoyant , but it's easier now to keep my position , with my head above the water , breathing the now extra stale air . I continue to take the stab jacket off , once off I clip the small chest strap together , trying not to dump precious air out of the stab jacket by squeezing it too much . My main lamp's clipped to my stab jacket , and it's swinging around , like a demented banshee . So I turn on my little torch that I've clipped to my mask strap , now I can see easily where I'm looking , a great little directional light .

Now do I push the stab jacket out first , or go out myself , and drag the jacket after me . No first I tie the stab jacket too me , with the line I normally use to clip the S M B real too . One last breath and down to the port hole . The Buddy Air Two firmly griped in my mouth . I feed the stab jacket through the port hole and I follow . IM OUT ! FREEEE !!! Looking at the mast and the crosstree jamming the door , I realise how lucky I am . Looking up as I swim up , I curve around the steel cable's of the ships rigging , on my way towards the surface . Why am I still swimming ? Im the idiot that's still negatively buoyant ! I dump one of the brass ingot's and start ascending with grace and style . I bend my head to look at my computer , and it wasn't there ! Gone ! Three hundred , fore hundred pound's of Guardian down the bog . I look down at my prison , and for a second I want too go back for it ; Just one second , honest .... I continue up , breathing from my Buddy Air Two and exhaling back into the bladder , to reuse the air . I slow down and it's time to dump the other brass ingot . I start to shoot up and I get entangled in a rope ! No more ! No more ! No more Gov ! I've had enough , I promise to be good , honest ! No More PLEASE!! Grabbing hold of the rope it comes free of the stabjacket . And I hold on to it with a grip of iron , its my anchor rope ! YES YES YES I haul myself up to the surface, and bump my head on the hull of the rib .

As I surface I spit the reg out , and sweet fresh air in , I grab the hand rope of the rib and rest . Breathing sweet air . I untie the stabjacket from my wrist and hook it to the rib , and get into the boat . I lay on my back mask off looking up at the star's , a big grin on my face . Made it !! The star's disappear as the fog comes down . I start to laugh this isn't God being vindictive , this has got to be (Pistsidon) having a last pop at me . Give a God his due , there wasn't enough time to send a Tsunami , so he sent a fog !! Kit off , stab pulled into the boat , clinck as the stab hit's the hand hold , but it wasn't the bottle !! what was it ? it was the Buddy air two bottle FULL OF SWEET FRESH AIR THAT I DID NOT USE !!! Because I forgot I had it !! Because I never practiced using it !! Do you know you can laugh and cry at the same time . Reg's off , engine started , anchor pulled up , compass held in my hand and I'm off on a bearing to Brixham .

God bless the BSAC coxswain course !! Long may it be part of the training curriculum . Half a mile from the harbour entrance I come out of the fog , and corrected my course to starboard five degrees , and into the harbour and moor up in the marina . My kit into the car and back to Brixham Holiday Park , no one noticed that I was gone !! They are all still out boozing . I look at my watch and can't believe how little an amount of time the dive took , it seemed like a life time . Im totally done innnn , I'm asleep before my head touched the pillow . My last thought was ( There's no way I'm diving tomorrow , I need to offgass , but how to get out of it?)

Monday I didn't want to get out of bed , but when the Polly Bear's up , everybody's got to get up ! Contrails in a clear blue sky , it's Thatchers Rock . And I do not want to go in , so I lift the "O" ring out of it's seat and put my reg's on and open the air valve . BANG goes the seel and I get out of the dive , to do boat cover for the diver's , aren't I nice and unselfish ! The second dive is the scallop bed's , and I still do my martyr double do-gooder bit . Still offgassing , there wasn't many scallop's in the goody bags that I saw brought up , so I wasn't missing much . While waiting I thought back about the tomb and how it was crystal clear water , even though I was belting around in a panic in there . Im slow so it took me a while to figure it out . There wasn't any crap in there to rot , and the door had only just been torn open , so the crap hadn't had enough time to get in there . Lucky wasn't I .

Tuesday ; And the dive site was Thatchers Rock with Dave ( Flap's) Green . And the second dive was the Morris Rogue with Mick Smith . Both dives went well , because I was diving with two of the most experienced diver's in the club. Im well pleased , that I haven't lost my bottle , only my Guardian Computer , and that I'm O K ;

Wednesday ; Torbay Rock's with Neville . A nice dive , with dog fish , spider crab's , and dolphins . Yes Dolphins .O.K. they were a quarter of a mile away , but we were in the same sea area

Thursday ; Thatchers Rock and the Morris Rogue with Ian Hanstead (Scraggy Tash) A nice dive with reasonable vis .Two to three mtr's .

Friday ; The Dutch Barge with Scraggy Tash again clear water but nothing to see ! The last dive and we took the boat's out , and home .

While washing my kit out at home , I found some bit's of brass in the pocket's . It's surprising how malleable pure brass can be , and how yellow , just like butter . But it was the most interesting dive I've done . And it would be nice to have a keepsake . So I got my paper and pen out , and sat down , to write down the cross bearing's , for a later visit and dive . And I couldn't remember one , not one , no matter how hard I tried , NOT ONE ! Good init !

( It was brass , not gold , gold's more yellow brown , and it's harder than the brass I used , which was the colour of pure butter and soft !)

(c) 7 . 6 . 02 . Joel (The Troll) Pearl